Archive for the 'The Future' Category

A Meditation on Streaming Video

December 6, 2007

All across the dark and endless internet, all the live long day, experiencing nearly no cause for hair pulling or tooth gnashing or hand wringing I find myself able to view with my eyes & perceive with my ears a variety of high quality streaming video & audio offered by websites named: The Onion, Google Video, Odeo, YouTube, Myspace, Purevolume, and CNN. (dot com)

It would appear, however, that not all streaming video players are quite as well prepared for prime time as the big names like YouTube are. NBC.COM for example, and ABC.COM. Both fall into this unfortunate latter category. Factors such as: “Irresponsibly Constant Freezing Up of Video“, and also “Mysteriously, The Advertisements Always Play Just Perfectly Goddamn Well But the Godforsaken Show Never Goes More Than 3 Seconds Without Freezing Up” are of real concern on this end of the spectrum.

On one occasion I spent 19 hours watching a single episode of 30 Rock on Nbc.com without ever making it past the opening sequence at the hot dog cart where the guy cuts in line and Tina Fey freezes with a weird annoyed look on her face and just stands there for hours without moving. Eventually I realized. She wasn’t standing there performing the strangest television premiere ever aired! The streaming video had frozen up. I then became despondent.

ABC.COM’s streaming video player offers free intoxicating hit shows like Lost and Ugly Betty! It’s a great idea! But they forgot to make it work right, as in, work at all. Instead they implemented a system of stuttering, hanging, skipping and freezing. Your head will spin. But it won’t be due to being drunk off hit shows like you wish it would be. It will be due to a filthy sour cocktail of frustration, sadness, apathy & blackest remorse served up by the American Brodasting Company….

Oh, wait. Nevermind. It’s working now.

…….

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The Future is Here, Says My Razor Sharp Knife.

August 23, 2006

Look at that thing!

I challenge anyone who says the future is not right here before our very eyes, to an old time knife fight.

Via Engadget.

Bob Dylan is Not Afraid of Telling Technology it Sucks.

August 22, 2006

Dear Technology,

Guess what day this is? Yea, it’s pretty much the day Bob Dylan hands you your ass!!! BURN!!!!
He’s right too. You suck in big ways in small ways and in ways whose sizes I am unaware.

But also, like Kip, I love you.

You’re adorable.

Seriously though, I’m not going to take a stand against Bob Dylan on this, sorry technology, I’ve gotta place my eggs in the basket of a proven winner of life.

Bob Dylan is love.

I love him. (but not as much as I love technology.)

Our Friend Flicka Prances Not Upon The Grave Of Jimmy Hoffa

June 17, 2006

Just a quick one here. A little quickie to get your eyes sparkling with enjoyment. Perhaps a giggle of delight…

June 17 2006 Photo & tagline from a Detroit Free Press Article.

Enjoy.