Archive for the 'The Man' Category

A Meditation on Streaming Video

December 6, 2007

All across the dark and endless internet, all the live long day, experiencing nearly no cause for hair pulling or tooth gnashing or hand wringing I find myself able to view with my eyes & perceive with my ears a variety of high quality streaming video & audio offered by websites named: The Onion, Google Video, Odeo, YouTube, Myspace, Purevolume, and CNN. (dot com)

It would appear, however, that not all streaming video players are quite as well prepared for prime time as the big names like YouTube are. NBC.COM for example, and ABC.COM. Both fall into this unfortunate latter category. Factors such as: “Irresponsibly Constant Freezing Up of Video“, and also “Mysteriously, The Advertisements Always Play Just Perfectly Goddamn Well But the Godforsaken Show Never Goes More Than 3 Seconds Without Freezing Up” are of real concern on this end of the spectrum.

On one occasion I spent 19 hours watching a single episode of 30 Rock on Nbc.com without ever making it past the opening sequence at the hot dog cart where the guy cuts in line and Tina Fey freezes with a weird annoyed look on her face and just stands there for hours without moving. Eventually I realized. She wasn’t standing there performing the strangest television premiere ever aired! The streaming video had frozen up. I then became despondent.

ABC.COM’s streaming video player offers free intoxicating hit shows like Lost and Ugly Betty! It’s a great idea! But they forgot to make it work right, as in, work at all. Instead they implemented a system of stuttering, hanging, skipping and freezing. Your head will spin. But it won’t be due to being drunk off hit shows like you wish it would be. It will be due to a filthy sour cocktail of frustration, sadness, apathy & blackest remorse served up by the American Brodasting Company….

Oh, wait. Nevermind. It’s working now.

…….

Security is False Alpha

September 10, 2006


Originally uploaded by mohandep.

The more confident and relaxed one feels and acts in social settings (chatting amiably, laughing, freely expressing opinions) the more comfortable ones peers will begin to feel. The more open and confident they will become in much the same manner. This is the gift of the Alpha to the group.

Therefore it is of great importance to the leader from time to time, to reinforce insecurity and unworthiness into the clique. In this way, the leader can enforce “correct” behaviour. Meaning behaviour that is to the leaders advantage; determined, maintained, shifted and controlled by the leader as the leader sees fit. The group will fall “into line” in a manner of speaking, instinctively so, (depending on the skills of the leader) and once in line can be kept in line by occasional reinforcement and approval of behaviour that is acceptable to the leader. And continued use of occasional, subtle humiliations. This is the gift of the Alpha to the group.

 

 

Myspace Has Been Great All Week

July 29, 2006

Myspace has been a piece of shit all week

NEWSFLASH

Myspace has been a piece of shit all week

July 29 2006Internet, USA, Earth, Galaxy – It is being reported that all week long popular stalking site Myspace.com has been having technical difficulties due to things like being a piece of shit. Early this week there were reports from news outlets across the galaxy that the difficulties were due, first to power outages occurring in the meaningless country of California where Myspace headquarters are rumored to reside, and secondly to the merry migration of databases from server to server all around the Rupert Murdoch owned company’s space age tree-house in small vinyl pouches during lunch. However, this evening statements are being released to the media from a mole in the tubes of the internet that appear to contradict both prior claims. Indications from the source at this hour imply that the difficulty experienced this week by users of the popular erotic website are attributable to it being a piece of shit.

Users of the site this week have found themselves unable to successfully upload images, sign in, log out, edit profiles, view profiles, make comments, delete spam, send spam, friend request strangers, flame the bulletin board, change display names, reorganize their top friends, or listen to Black Armbands by Color Tv. Meanwhile users with artist accounts like Bloc Party have been stymied at every attempt to upload new songs they’ve written or pictures of themselves and their guitars taken in the bathroom mirror or with the timer on their camera in the basement.

At press time Myspace was unavailable for comment and had not returned our calls. It is believed by some to be busy painting it’s one giant toenail black and sitting in the broom closet with a bottle of Jack Daniels. But no one’s really entirely sure.

Bee Legs Of Doom

April 29, 2006


brood

Originally uploaded by theparadigmshifter.

——–

Well!

I didn't intend to say a single word today. I simply intended to read a simple story about bees and how they fly and what they do while they fly, with their legs.

Harmless enough? Well unfortunately some unexpected unsettling is overwhelming my urge to not write. I am writing.

And damn an article seemingly unrelated to anything outwardly unsettling but secretly in the midst of itself becoming unsettling!

The U.S. military and other groups hope to use such mini flying robots for search and rescue missions and other applications. Bees could inspire future designs.

Oh, I love rescue missions as much as the next guy needing rescue. But I really, really do not love vagueries such as "other applications" in such close relation to mention of the Military. Read it again. Other applications!?? Like, just what exactly, with your mini robot bee?

It makes for unsettling flights of hidden military fancy in my mind & I shrink for fear. & maybe a twinge of disgust.

Read the full article here. Feel the full unsettle in your heart. Enjoy the photograph in your eye. & Do not falter.