Archive for the 'Hive Mind' Category

A Meditation on Streaming Video

December 6, 2007

All across the dark and endless internet, all the live long day, experiencing nearly no cause for hair pulling or tooth gnashing or hand wringing I find myself able to view with my eyes & perceive with my ears a variety of high quality streaming video & audio offered by websites named: The Onion, Google Video, Odeo, YouTube, Myspace, Purevolume, and CNN. (dot com)

It would appear, however, that not all streaming video players are quite as well prepared for prime time as the big names like YouTube are. NBC.COM for example, and ABC.COM. Both fall into this unfortunate latter category. Factors such as: “Irresponsibly Constant Freezing Up of Video“, and also “Mysteriously, The Advertisements Always Play Just Perfectly Goddamn Well But the Godforsaken Show Never Goes More Than 3 Seconds Without Freezing Up” are of real concern on this end of the spectrum.

On one occasion I spent 19 hours watching a single episode of 30 Rock on without ever making it past the opening sequence at the hot dog cart where the guy cuts in line and Tina Fey freezes with a weird annoyed look on her face and just stands there for hours without moving. Eventually I realized. She wasn’t standing there performing the strangest television premiere ever aired! The streaming video had frozen up. I then became despondent.

ABC.COM’s streaming video player offers free intoxicating hit shows like Lost and Ugly Betty! It’s a great idea! But they forgot to make it work right, as in, work at all. Instead they implemented a system of stuttering, hanging, skipping and freezing. Your head will spin. But it won’t be due to being drunk off hit shows like you wish it would be. It will be due to a filthy sour cocktail of frustration, sadness, apathy & blackest remorse served up by the American Brodasting Company….

Oh, wait. Nevermind. It’s working now.



Kottke Has My Answer

April 8, 2007

It turns out that the magical insides of a bag of Full Circle Organic Microwave Popcorn, retains its magical properties outside of that bag when in a old timey metal coffee percolator on a stovetop.

Can I expect popping success with a bag of micowave popcorn, and no microwave. Should I panic?! “The internets will tell me!” I said to no one in particular.

“If you’ve got a bag of Orville Redenbacher’s Butter microwave popcorn on hand but no microwave, there’s no need to panic.” –Said

Aha! Well okay. Okay… Next question: Can I boil Microwave Popcorn back into being just regular corn for eating it soft and delicious with butter and salt? Yes? Kottke?

Microwave Stovetop Popcorn Collage

Farewell Ze Frank… Oh Hello! Oh Damn!

March 23, 2007

On the final day of The Show with Ze Frank, I heard of The Show with Ze Frank.

What a sad state of sadness. Now I’ve watched almost all of the episodes over the last 6 days and it makes me wish I’d been there as it happened.

Oh Sad.

If you’re like me or, rather you as me 6 days ago and this is the first you’ve heard of The Show with Ze Frank there is a nice summation of the fun we missed out on out today at Slate Magazine

Raising a Family on Zazzle

March 22, 2007


I Drink the Wet – Mug

I Drink the Wet - Mug


What do you say? Does a line of Tote Bags, Shirts, Postage Stamps, (If nothing else at least look at that one. The idea of it arriving on an envelope is almost too much funny to handle.) and more, featuring the above illustration and other how to ‘use the wets’ seem as if it could catch on and generate enough income to help provide home repairs to economically depressed neighborhoods?

I’m serious. Twitter, will you validate my serious nature please? “Yes. Indeed I will.”

Zazzle pays the seller 7 to 17 percent of each sale. Average price of a small item being around 20 dollars. Are you making a mint on Zazzle somehow?

Discuss, advise. Thank you.