Myspace Has Been Great All Week

July 29, 2006

Myspace has been a piece of shit all week

NEWSFLASH

Myspace has been a piece of shit all week

July 29 2006Internet, USA, Earth, Galaxy – It is being reported that all week long popular stalking site Myspace.com has been having technical difficulties due to things like being a piece of shit. Early this week there were reports from news outlets across the galaxy that the difficulties were due, first to power outages occurring in the meaningless country of California where Myspace headquarters are rumored to reside, and secondly to the merry migration of databases from server to server all around the Rupert Murdoch owned company’s space age tree-house in small vinyl pouches during lunch. However, this evening statements are being released to the media from a mole in the tubes of the internet that appear to contradict both prior claims. Indications from the source at this hour imply that the difficulty experienced this week by users of the popular erotic website are attributable to it being a piece of shit.

Users of the site this week have found themselves unable to successfully upload images, sign in, log out, edit profiles, view profiles, make comments, delete spam, send spam, friend request strangers, flame the bulletin board, change display names, reorganize their top friends, or listen to Black Armbands by Color Tv. Meanwhile users with artist accounts like Bloc Party have been stymied at every attempt to upload new songs they’ve written or pictures of themselves and their guitars taken in the bathroom mirror or with the timer on their camera in the basement.

At press time Myspace was unavailable for comment and had not returned our calls. It is believed by some to be busy painting it’s one giant toenail black and sitting in the broom closet with a bottle of Jack Daniels. But no one’s really entirely sure.

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6 Responses to “Myspace Has Been Great All Week”

  1. dillpicker Says:

    just this week?
    well they make up for it in their FAQ, which gives zero explaination as to why your songs aren’t uploading. myspace is such a suckshit how i got talked into that f-wad. is it still against the law to kill people? really, because it seems like it should be okay.

  2. shenbee Says:

    dillpicker:
    All part of the Myspace experience baaby! Right?
    Also, Yes. I think it is okay to kill nowadays. Self-defense right? These websites are clearly out to psychologically batter & belittle us until we are only twisted remnants of our former selves who would happily take razors to our wrists in seeking sweet sweet release from their futuristic torments. Therefore, it’s either them or me. Them or You. Us or Them.

    Them.

    I’m with you homey.

  3. dillpicker Says:

    shenbee:

    how true about the self defense claim…could be a banner business in suicide-proofing homes (comparable to child-proofing).
    about the eighth failed upload I started looking at the electrical outlets, wondering what 110v might taste like.

    and i’ll have to side with you that the mental torture is intended. i always have the feeling i’m the butt of some elses joke when I’m all fetal and crying, and pleading…’please god, just let it work.’
    I can sense laughter occurring far away at my expense.

  4. Holden Says:

    Anyone else having bother with myspace or is it just my pc?
    Last couple of days it seems it wont let me download any song from anywhere.
    Anyone having same bother – or anyone how to sort it?

  5. nibbles Says:

    myspace is shit as fuck

    it never works
    i am consistentll angry at something and the internet does not help.

    i will kill soon.

  6. floormaster Says:

    FUCK MYSPACE i cant even upload songs to my fucking band account anymore. I’m constantly getting the same error… “File upload failed. Please delete the song and re-upload.” SO I reupload a few times and get THE SAME FUCKING error every time. I’m convinced that myspace is a website run by a terrorist organization plotting to weaken every american by pissing them off to such an extreme that they can no longer function.


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