My AM Will Beat Up Your ASSface & Hump You

April 8, 2006

//www.flickr.com/photos/ilm/

Good Morning To The Picture Perfect 9.

Now speaking of radio; I heard a thing saying at some point coming up, FM will move off to a new hi-definition bandwidth, AM will be reclassified up to equal current FM sound quality, and the current AM frequencies…?? I wonder… I dunno. Can't remember. Maybe never knew. Odds are they'll be turned over to the fire departments for a new emergency band, or something else utterly gay, probably.

Hmmm…No, wait a sec. I think I may be getting my stories mixed up actually.

But anyhow stay with me! Cuz speaking of A.M., wouldn't it be Supergayhot!awesome totally! as if by magic – if they'd open them old ol'timey A.M.'s up nationwide upon our shining democracy and grant easy access of the airwaves to the general public which might, in part, among other things, help these local blank-stare communities with no goddamn culture to speak of develop some scraps of a meager one and smear them around? A little spark of life might flare up. Lets see that private individuals are 'on the air' with influence from right inside their own community broadcasting to friends and family on one of these "extremely-local" radio stations. ("neighborhood/family/block/grove/orsmallvillage" station) These would operate at roughly the same range, scale and level of impact and reach that one can normally expect an AM station to have. Give or take a few inches. A newly redesigned, re-distributed, re-imagined commodity, given to The People. Even if it is only the commodity of presiding over the wee-smallest broadcast ranges to nowhere imaginable.

And yet….

When one envisions the potential to galvanize and inform the public in such a system, within very specific groups of listeners very thoroughly, one smiles contentedly. And, even better still, this information is delivered to the group through a trusted mouthpiece in our closest friends and neighbors. One need only plant the seed of information. It will spread. One could, for instance; semi-instantly suddenly realize, and, then almost just as immediately inform their "neighborhood" that everything they have ever read on picture perfect is a total batch of hysterical catshit. (Or terribly brilliant!) And they'd be absolutely right about it. (The former.) And thus the word will spread. Or would. If you had your own radio station.

Plus just think! For instance: just think… and ….enjoy the thought of the very very very many extra local bands we'll get to hear from and about if the sheer number of radio stations on the "air" and totally available to local bands suddenly expounds by factors of 10's and 27's virtually overnight!

"…up next: here we have my neighbors kids new band..,The, uh…, The Standing Monkey Jellyfish. in to, Uh, says here: "roc the bells" for us,..with a song they wrote for my daughter. great. "Hey guys! How ya doing'? come on in!"…etc…."

There's always a bright side.

For instance you just know some stone-cold freakaleeks out here in the 'merica are stone-cold guaranteed to leave their microphones up & full on broadcast while they hump hard next to it. Hard. Come on. That shit is inevitable.

Unlike the radio of the past, now nearly anyone who wishes it will have a station of their very own on the air of influence in absolutely no time at all and will become a part of the conversation before they even thought twice of anything worth saying once. But, by opening these connections & blurring the lines between "listening & broadcasting" : the two eventually become effectively one and the same idea, therefore the network will grow organically. Consciousness will grow exponentially. One way or another at every moment EVERYONE will be listening in, learning, contributing, creating, growing, understanding & broadcasting themselves humping to each other. Inside such a network humping information will travel practically instantly from mind to mind at INCREDIBLe SPEEDS!!! as if by…T-Mobile Sidekick and Television. As if by Blogosphere & Myspace.

Except in my scenario it would be traveling by actual amateur radio broadcasts. And that's Ol' Timey! Like democracy!

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