Produit Du Chili!

February 25, 2006


Kudos to Chile!
Your grapes are delicious this winter. It’s 2006 and damn well wintertime out here in the Midwest. But down (?) in Chile the sun is up and the grapes flow like wine after you drink it and pee it out. Not that I drink it. It’s disgusting. I will however eat your pee.

Kidding.
(no.)
Okay yes.
Just joking.

That’s a horrible thing to make me do! Who knows where your pee has been, first of all. Second of all, in spite the sincerest efforts of a pee-drinking guy on the phone during a morning call-in talk radio show, I’m not even nearing slightly convinced that there are enough nutritional benefits to outweigh the sensational disgustingness of drinking my own pee, let alone yours.

Grapes, however, are incredible. I’m eating them now. Chile produces some of the best. I send my pleasure to the men, women and children of that fine sun soaked land of grapes and I welcome them into my home in the form of the grapes they send me with love. No doubt they’ve sent you some sunshine as well in the form of grapes to your grocer. So check the grocery. I bet I’m right as rain.

If not you can pee in my face.

On second thought, pee in your Grocer’s face. Failure to stock chilean green grapes during this morbid midwest winter? Unacceptable.

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